Each one of these blog entries is the result of a great deal of thought. A great deal of wrestling. These entries are my attempt to take what I am learning, what I believe God is trying to teach me, and get to the meat of it. To learn my lesson, if you will.
Sometimes I surprise myself with just how little I have learned.
Tonight, I was talking to a friend about some uncertainties in my future. Some things I want for my life, but some things about which I am not feeling very optimistic. I was worrying. I was venting. I was whining. As we were talking, I expressed some frustration and said, “I guess God is…” I stopped. ”…I don’t know.”
What I had been about to say was, “I guess God is going to trash this for me, too.”
From where did that come?
After all of this blogging about trusting God, letting go, and surrender, how could this doubt and fear creep into my way of thinking?
I don’t believe it. I don’t believe for one moment that God is “trashing” anything for me.
I felt like Peter. How could I deny Christ after all He does and all He is for me?
I guess these are lessons we have to learn over and over again.
Forgive me, Father, for my fear and doubt.
